-St. Louis, October 7, 2022

Leadership is not a position that someone gives you; it is ultimately a privilege that you must earn and maintain.

“A leader has to earn that title. You aren’t the leader just because you’re the best player on the team, the smartest person in the class, or the most popular. No one can give you that title either. You have to gain the respect of those around you by your actions.” -Michael Jordan

Some athletes think that being named captain gives them the right to lead. They think that people will automatically listen to them and respect them because they hold the title of a leader. Being a leader is so much more than just a title you hold. It is a sacred trust you must cultivate, cherish, and preserve. No one is going to respect you because of your title—they will respect you because of how you conduct yourself and the respect you show them.

My final two years playing for Mizzou, I was named a team captain, however I began my leadership journey during my sophomore year. In the beginning, I was a leader by example—meaning I lead not through what I said, but how I conducted myself on and off the field. Leading by example meant I consistently worked hard in every drill, I played with pride and confidence, I maintained composure during high intensity situations, and brought my best version of myself every day. It is about having the mentality that “you get to do this” and not a “have to” frame of mindset. During the offseason, I would train twice as hard as my teammates because I knew that my teammates wouldn’t trust and listen to me as a leader if I didn’t compete at the highest level. How can you expect people to follow you, if you aren’t willing to put the work in? When I was training in the offseason and found myself struggling to be motivated, I would always tell myself that I would rather do all the hard work and fail now, so when game time came I was mentally and physically prepared to compete at my optimal performance. “Cry now, so you can smile at the end.” As a leader, you must first handle your own responsibilities before you can worry about leading the rest of the group. Leadership can be a lonely position, but it is your responsibility to lead through words and action to inspire, influence, and motivate others around you to reach their potential.

Leading by example involves four main characteristics: commitment, self confidence, composure, and strong character.  “One person in pursuit of excellence raises the standards of everyone around them. And as they strive for greatness they bring out the greatness in others. Be that person today.”

But leading by example is only the first and most crucial step to developing into a strong leader on your team. Once you prove to yourself and the team that you are willing to do all those things: commitment, confidence, composure, and character then you are ready to take your leadership to the next level with vocal leading. Vocal leadership means you are willing to step outside of yourself by verbally encouraging, motivating, challenging, and holding your teammates accountable. The vocal leader must be a servant of the team, a confidence boost to teammates, a refocuser, and a team builder.

Effective leadership requires you to be yourself. Good leadership development encourages you to honestly explore your strengths and areas of improvement and provides you a development plan to become your best. Don’t feel the need to change yourself for the sake of leadership. The best leaders know what works best for them and stay true to who they are. Effective leaders come in all forms from loud and demanding to strong, silent types. Find what works best for you. Your teammates and coaches will respect you for being you—not someone else. And ultimately, the goal of leadership is bringing the best out of others and making your teammates around you better, which can only be done through authenticity.

Before Cassidy Nurnberger was a four year letter winner, SEC All - Academic Honor Roll, and Two-Time Captain at the University of Missouri, she was a high school student at Washington High and a member of the 1998 ECNL team at SLSG.  Cassidy is currently an assistant coach at Mizzou and will graduate with a Masters Degree in Leadership & Management.

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More Insight from Cass

The Leader by Example is;

Commitment

• Self-motivated and self-disciplined
• One of the hardest workers on the team
• Cares passionately about the team’s success
• Competitive

Confidence

• Believes in self on and off the field
• Wants to perform in pressure situations
• Mentally and emotionally resilient following mistakes

Composure

• Able to keep emotions in check
• Controls negative emotions

Character

• Does the right thing on and off the field
• Responsible, accountable, reliable
• Honest with coaches and teammates
• Treats people with respect

The Vocal Leader is;

A servant

• Puts the needs of team ahead of their own
• Willingly does the hard work
• Listens and supports teammates

A confidence-builder

• Understands each teammate
• Builds the confidence of teammates
• Provides support and encouragement

A refocuser

• Helps teammates stay mentally tough
• Emotionally intelligent
• Communicates optimism and hope

A team builder

• Unifies team around common goal
• Establishes and focuses team on goals
• Builds team chemistry

#2

Leadership Insights

By definition, shared leadership is described as “a dynamic, interactive influence process among individuals in groups for which the objective is to lead one another to the achievement of group or organizational goals or both” (Pearce and Conger).

And if we manipulate our perspective, all of us together; coaches, parents, and players have a responsibility to nurture, show patience, and lead one another towards the best sporting experience for the children.  In order to do this we must have referees.

This week a 14 year old female retired from the referee business because “the environment was overwhelming” in a 9v9 game.  For sure, on any given day, so many reasons could factor into this young lady's decision to stop refereeing. And many of those reasons may have nothing to do with coaches, parents, and players.  But the fact it happened should remind all of us that, regardless of referee shortages, working and leading together with the best experience for the kids as our objective, can result in the creation of an environment that facilitates learning for all involved. 

More food for thought.  I coach a U14 team and have no less than four certified referees on the roster.  These players have a side gig and work in our local leagues on a weekly basis. I must say, from what I’ve witnessed, they do a pretty good job.  More importantly, knowing this makes me think, and really should make all of us think twice, that before challenging a referee’s call at a game I remember, “This ref could actually be a member of our club”.  Regardless of affiliations in life, the refs, just as we all do, deserve an environment where they can gain experience without the fear of being “overwhelmed” by the people in attendance. 

Here’s to exercising our “shared leadership”, just one more reflection of our purpose, to provide the best youth soccer experience possible, for the children.

~Leadership Insights is a weekly snippet that promotes the thoughts and/or actions of leaders in an effort to generate role models and leaders within the Girls Division of Saint Louis Scott Gallagher.

MeiKalya Moore - New Zealand National Team

MeiKayla Moore is obviously a talented soccer player.  She’s a starting member of the Liverpool Ladies Professional team and she has represented her country at every level including the U17, U20, and now, has made 50 appearances for the full Women’s National Team.  So, no, I’m guessing MeiKayla could never have imagined her most recent match as a center back, would end with her scoring three goals… in her own goal. 

It is out of these moments we need to remember that leaders are needed, depended upon, and created.  MeiKayla was supported by her teammates, reassuring her over and over that she needed to be positive. 

In the press conference that followed the match, her coach, who had to substitute Moore a little earlier than normal, continued to show confidence in her, and at the same time, it was visible to all how much she cared about Moore the person.  "Obviously she's sad and disappointed, but she has us. We know who she is, we know what a great player she is, and we are going to support her as much as possible and we will be behind her."

And MeiKayla, a leader by finding “the positive” in this difficult situation simply stated, “All I can do is use this performance, probably my worst ever, as motivation to be better, and that’s what I plan to do for my club and my country.”

Leadership is not only needed in the roughest of moments, but it is incredibly important.  As coaches, teammates, and individuals we need to remind ourselves that it is the act of a leader to find the good and positive in all instances. 

~Leadership Insights is a weekly snippet that promotes the thoughts and/or actions of leaders in an effort to generate role models and leaders within the Girls Division of Saint Louis Scott Gallagher.